To be frank bpollard, I'd take you up on the offer, but I definitely can't build your system(not in Texas), and I definitely wouldn't want to be supporting your box indefinitely(which is virtually a guarantee if you have someone handle the software for you).
The problem is that while I could teach you the basics and such in a few hours, you'd pretty much *need* to come back to me for almost every problem...forever. That's not something most people want to get into. Even when I build systems for companies I discuss the fact that I'm not looking for a customer that is going to keep coming back forever. I'm okay with doing initial build, and I'm okay with explaining what I'm doing. But, at the same time, if a problem comes up later and you ask for help in the forums and don't have an answer for a simple question, you're going to be in real doo-doo.
If you are okay with these limitations, send me a PM. I'll take Paypal. ;)