None of that worked. It either printed nothing out, or simply returned 'no such pool available'
For a FS that prides itself in how solid it is, my first run in with it has been an epic failure
To be honest, your failure to use the appropriate hardware for ZFS has been an epic failure. If you check out our stickies we make it very clear that server grade hardware and ECC RAM should be used with ZFS. Anything less is taking additional risks that could cause problems.
To be honest, in my 2 years of being here reading every thread I have never seen a loss of a zpool without any evidence of it existing aside from the partition table.
How about the output of zdb -l /dev/ada0p2. If that works, provide the output of ada1p2, ada2p2, and ada3p2.
If those don't work.. well, you're going to have to try backups because I don't know what else to try.