Welp, I dug up two articles, and one of the two, or both fixed my speeds.
https://blogs.technet.microsoft.com/netgeeks/2018/05/21/a-word-about-autotuninglevel-tcp-receive-auto-tuning-level-explained/
https://www.omelsoft.com/fix-slow-internet-windows-10-creators-update/
I still have FreeNAS 100% default tuning-parameters-wise, but I'm cranking a full 1GB/sec for SMB file transfers in both directions now without issue.
My single thread of iperf3 still isn't a full 9.5Gbit/sec, but it's way better than the 1.28Gbit/sec I was getting:
[root@freenas ~]# iperf3 -c 192.168.2.53
Connecting to host 192.168.2.53, port 5201
[ 5] local 192.168.2.237 port 19688 connected to 192.168.2.53 port 5201
[ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr Cwnd
[ 5] 0.00-1.00 sec 412 MBytes 3.46 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 1.00-2.00 sec 411 MBytes 3.44 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 2.00-3.00 sec 398 MBytes 3.34 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 3.00-4.00 sec 411 MBytes 3.45 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 4.00-5.00 sec 403 MBytes 3.38 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 5.00-6.00 sec 406 MBytes 3.41 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 6.00-7.00 sec 396 MBytes 3.32 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 7.00-8.00 sec 410 MBytes 3.44 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 8.00-9.00 sec 405 MBytes 3.39 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
[ 5] 9.00-10.00 sec 410 MBytes 3.44 Gbits/sec 0 210 KBytes
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr
[ 5] 0.00-10.00 sec 3.97 GBytes 3.41 Gbits/sec 0 sender
[ 5] 0.00-10.00 sec 3.97 GBytes 3.41 Gbits/sec receiver
iperf Done.
[root@freenas ~]# iperf3 -s
-----------------------------------------------------------
Server listening on 5201
-----------------------------------------------------------
Accepted connection from 192.168.2.53, port 50044
[ 5] local 192.168.2.237 port 5201 connected to 192.168.2.53 port 50045
[ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate
[ 5] 0.00-1.00 sec 547 MBytes 4.59 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 1.00-2.00 sec 672 MBytes 5.64 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 2.00-3.00 sec 658 MBytes 5.52 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 3.00-4.00 sec 670 MBytes 5.62 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 4.00-5.00 sec 677 MBytes 5.68 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 5.00-6.00 sec 675 MBytes 5.67 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 6.00-7.00 sec 675 MBytes 5.66 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 7.00-8.00 sec 670 MBytes 5.62 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 8.00-9.00 sec 677 MBytes 5.68 Gbits/sec
[ 5] 9.00-10.00 sec 674 MBytes 5.65 Gbits/sec
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate
[ 5] 0.00-10.00 sec 6.44 GBytes 5.53 Gbits/sec receiver